


when I am dead, my dearest

by redrobin1989



Category: Danny Phantom
Genre: Angst, Danny Fenton Needs A Hug, Danny and Vlad talk a lot around their condition but never quite lie, Fenton Family Drama, Gen, Jack and Maddie are talked about alot but never appear, Sam & Tucker are good friends but also assholes sometimes, Valerie did NOT want to feel these emotions for her enemy, Vlad is a right bastard, Well intended exorcisms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-10
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 15:56:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29952378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redrobin1989/pseuds/redrobin1989
Summary: Valerie knew logically that ghosts were created from the souls of dead people but it was another thing to be confronted with that knowledge from her greatest ghostly enemy. How is she supposed to deal with Phantom knowing he died and no one in his family noticed?
Relationships: Danny Fenton & Jack Fenton, Danny Fenton & Valerie Gray, Danny Fenton & Vlad Masters
Comments: 31
Kudos: 293





	1. handknit sweater, never worn

_For sale. Baby shoes. Never worn_

* * *

How did Valerie always end up in these kinds of situations? Of course there had to be a large scale ghost attack at her school. Val had gotten rid of most of the ghosts, when part of the auditorium collapsed, trapping her inside.

Normally she’d blast her way out but the old building was creaking ominously from who know how many fights. Her rockets might collapse the whole south side of the school, meaning she was stuck here while the Fentons cleaned up the rest of the small fry. And to make matters worse, Danny’s dad had had the _brilliant_ idea to put up a portable ghost shield around parts of the school to contain the ghosts. Meaning Phantom and the spooky vampire ghost were stuck with her too.

“Ugh this sucks,” Phantom whined, leaning petulantly against the ghost shield. His arms were crossed and his eyes lidded with annoyance, he almost could have passed for a normal, annoyed high schooler if you ignored his unnatural glow. “The Fentons really increased the power on these shields, I hope they’re okay out there by themselves. I think most of the students were evacuated already.” He glanced subtlety over at her which only increased her irritation. It was so aggravating that he knew everything about her while she knew nothing about him.

“Madeline’s handiwork no doubt,” The vampire guy, Plasmius, commented flippantly. “I don’t believe Jack could assemble a sandwich without her assistance.” Phantom bristled a bit at the comment but just turned to glare at empty air. While she’d once mistaken them for friends, it was clear there was serious bad blood between Plasmius and Phantom. 

“What are you even doing here, Plasmius?” Phantom hissed, crossing his arms closer to his chest in aggravation. “I’ve told you a million times to stay out of Amity.”

“Or you’ll do what, dear boy?” Plasmius grinned, flashing his fangs, like Phantom had told a particularly funny joke. Val privately considered the ghost boy to be one of the strongest ghosts she’d ever fought so if this guy was treating him like an annoying fly… Valerie kept her weapons up just in case but otherwise stayed away from the two volatile ghosts. She could take them down if she had to but there might be collateral. Right, that’s what she was going to go with.

“Actually,” Plasmius said, his cruel red eyes twinkling with smug glee. “I popped into town to check in on some of my old college friends. See what they’d been up to while I’d been busy with my various projects.”

Phantom kept his casual posture but went rigid, he did a quick almost incredulous glance over at her before looking back over to the ghost. “Now? You’re doing this _now_?”

“It’s always a good time to hurt you and besides,” another throaty chuckle, “I thought Ms. Grey might be interested.” Ok, was there any ghost that didn’t know her identity?

“Anyway, as I was saying before I was interrupted. I decided to visit my dear acquaintances. The better half was out but I found my fat, stupid old friend,” another twitch from Phantom, “back at his old favorite past time of knitting. And it looked like he was making a sweater, a lovely robin blue color. He sure was working so hard on it, so furiously, no doubt trying to finish it in time for Christmas.”

“You’re a real bastard, you know that?” Phantom hissed, his form looking more and more defensive by the second. Valerie had no idea what they were talking about but it clearly was upsetting the Ghost Kid. Usually she’d be pleased but it was kind of uncomfortable to watch. "You think this is funny now but I'm gonna get you for this."

"Hmm, I can't wait," Plasmius dismissed flippantly, still radiating cruel satisfaction before pausing to think in a mocking fashion. "You know, that's probably why he was going to so much trouble. If only he could get the sweater just right then maybe, just maybe, his wayward son will come home. Too bad the three of us know a secret he doesn't, that his cheerful, bouncing boy is long gone."

Oh shit, Plasmius was talking about _Phantom’s dad_. She’d assumed the beef between them started once they’d become ghosts but clearly there was history that extended to when they’d both been alive. Imagining Phantom alive, with parents… it was too weird. But thinking it was weird but better than this awful pit of emptiness forming in her stomach.

"It's not like that," Phantom said in a small voice.

“I’m sure you’ve seen it too, considering how often you’re in that house though still infrequently enough to worry your mother and father." Another wince from Phantom, another stab in Valerie's gut. _"Where does that boy go?_ They must wonder. I bet they blame themselves for your absence and the worst part is, it really is all their fault. And no lovingly made, handknit sweaters, never to be worn, will ever make up for it."

“Shut up, I’m going to wear the sweater,” Phantom muttered weakly, curling in on himself. He’d scooted as far away from Plasmius as he could get. "He'll know how much I appreciate it."

“Oh but he’s not making it for you, _Danny Phantom_ ,” Plasmius lilted with a smirk causing Phantom to bite his lip and look away. “He’s making it for his normal, human son who he doesn’t even have the brains to realize doesn’t exist anymore. Would he bother to spend so much time and energy on a sweater that could only be worn by _a ghost_? To see proof of his own failure as a father?" The ghost scoffed, "you were a ghost in that house long before you became one, the quiet, neglected child, and yet you still crawl to them on your knees for acceptance. It's quite pathetic actually."

“Hey, it was my fault! I knew the rules, I broke them and I paid the price.” Phantom defended, finally snapping out of his funk. He balled his fists and glared at Plasmius with all he had. “I don’t blame either of them for what happened! I love them and they love me and nothing you say will ever change that!”

“Then why don’t you tell them, Daniel?” Plasmius asked with a raised eyebrow. “If you’re so confident in their love, then tell them. Tell them the sweater is pointless because you thrive in the cold. Tell them that they can keep waiting until their dying breath for the son they'd loved to come home not realizing that a monster has slipped into his place, twisted and changed.”

"I'm still me," Phantom's voice cracked midway through, "I'm still their kid."

"Oh really?" Plasmius leered, "will you put your existence on the line for that or, worse, break the illusion of the happy little family you're so desperate to keep together? Face it child, even if they don't hate you and that is a rather big _if_ , then they will never accept you as you are."

"Yeah?" Phantom growled, "well the same goes for you. I may have been the stupid, screw-up brat but at least I'm not a liar and an abuser. My folks, _my mom_ , may come after me but she'll tear into you first."

“Touché, son,” Plasmius frowned, his brow twitching in displeasure. “Now then, I’m afraid our discussion will have to continue another time. I believe the power on the ghosts shield should be running out right about…” a low whine and the green wall surrounding them faded. “Ta ta for now you petulant child. Ms. Grey, a pleasure as always. Be careful with this one, lying to his own parents... You really can't trust a ghost.” With those parting words, Plasmius disappeared in a swirl of pink.

Valerie thought Phantom would leave too but instead he let out a long breath and ran his gloved fingers through his hair. After a moment he straightened himself up and looked as cool and confident as he ever did. Only now that she was looking though, she could see the cracks in his façade. She wondered how many times she'd seen and overlooked them.

“The Fentons have probably rounded up the rest of the ghost but we might as well make sure, you check by the cafeteria and I’ll go through the classrooms.”

“Why?” Valerie found herself asking, not sure what she meant. Why did Phantom die? Why was he so afraid to let his parents know what happened? Why did he try so hard when it seemed he got absolutely nothing in return?

“It’s the right thing to do I guess,” Phantom shrugged, rubbing at the back of his neck. “My uh my parents raised me that way and if it lost that after everything, well, then the person I was before really will be gone.” He floated over to her, gently phasing them both through the wreckage connecting them to the rest of the school and, for a second Valerie saw a scared, human kid in over his head. Then the illusion was gone and it was just Phantom, impossible to understand as always.

“Check the classrooms and if there’s no ghosts then I’m gunning for you,” Val said instead, activating her hoverboard and speeding off before he could answer. She readied her weapons and didn’t think of childless parents living in ignorance of what they’d lost or lonely sons who were too afraid to ask if their parents would love them even as a monster. 

She just wanted to get the ghost scum out of her school and move on with her life. But still, she couldn’t help but think that, come Christmas time, she’d find Phantom in a handknit sweater intended to ward off a chill he could not longer feel. 


	2. crossing the bar

_For tho’ from out our bourne of Time and Place_

_The flood may bear me far,_

_I hope to see my Pilot face to face_

_When I have cross’d the bar_

* * *

  
“So what even makes a ghost in the first place? Why are you all here?” Valerie asked Phantom, sitting atop her hoverboard high above the city. Phantom was lazily floating next to her on his back, looking perfectly at ease. They didn’t quite have a truce these days but sometimes when they were both out patrolling and things were slow, they ended up talking instead of blasting. 

It’s not because she felt bad for him or anything. It was information gathering, to better destroy ghosts, the revenge oriented part of her mind hissed. But maybe part of her was tired of being angry and suspicious all the time. She was willing to listen, if only for a moment.

“Eh, different for everyone,” Phantom shrugged. “Some hang around just to keep on existing, too afraid of what comes after and then getting stuck in a loop of obsession and anger. A few were never properly alive but just kind of formed in the Zone. Those two are probably the ones we fight the most often,” a thoughtful look crossed his face. “But others have some kind of unfinished business, something they need closure on before they can let go of this world and move on.”

“And which one are you?” Val asked, curious.

“Jeez, didn’t your dad ever teach you not to ask about a ghost’s death?” Phantom muttered to himself, tense with discomfort. “It’s rude.”

“Sorry,” she huffed. The insecure curve of Phantom’s shoulders reminded her of that time when she’d learned a little bit about the ghost boy’s human life, about his- “Oh my god your parents don’t know. Your dad knit you a sweater and he doesn’t know you’re a ghost. Did you even wear the sweater?”

“Shh not so loud,” Phantom shushed despite the fact that they were the only living thing this high up for miles. Well she was anyway. “And of course I wore the sweater, I’m not a monster,” Phantom said like he was offended. “It matches my eyes or uh, you know, the color my eyes used to be. It’s kind of itchy but warm I guess.”

“I haven’t seen you wearing it,” Valerie said suspiciously. If _her_ dad had handmade a sweater she would wear the thing every day.

“Well I can’t wear it when I’m out fighting ghosts now can I?” Phantom grumbled. The subject of ghosts reminded her that she wasn’t talking to one of her school friends but Phantom, the ghost she had sworn to destroy.

“I still don’t understand how they don’t know!” She shouted, reaching to run her hand through her hair, for a moment, forgetting about her helmet. “How can you just pretend everything is normal when you’re, when you’re-” she couldn’t bring herself to say dead. It felt wrong to put him in that category when he was so lively. She knew where ghosts came from but it hurt unexpectedly to think about Phantom that way. He didn’t say how he’d died but it had to be bad to take someone as stubborn as him down. “They had to notice you were missing, not to mention hiding the body and everything-”

“Listen, it’s fine. I don’t know if you know this but I am a very good actor,” Phantom preened a little bit. Somehow Val doubted that was the case. “The body thing is uh, not an issue. I uh buried it in the woods? Yep, absolutely, that’s um what normal people do with dead bodies.”

“I don’t want to think about your stupid ass being buried in the woods! You’re gonna traumatize some poor hiker!” Valerie grimaced, “and you’re avoiding the question. How the hell can your parents not notice you _died_?”

“Look it’s uh, it’s complicated but it’s fine. We’re fine. They don’t need to know, it’s better for them this way,” Phantom mumbled, rubbing at his neck and looking away.

“What do you mean, _they don’t need to know_?” Val demanded. “You’re their son! I think they deserve to know what happened to you. Unless you’re afraid,” Val bit her lip. “They didn’t, like, hurt you or anything, did they?”

“No!” Phantom defended quickly. “They are er _were_ great parents who loved me a lot and I know they don’t really mean the things they say about ghosts and-” he looked away, a stubborn set to his brow she’d become all too familiar with. “Them knowing wouldn’t change what happened but it would hurt them. They would feel bad and blame themselves for something that wasn’t their fault. I can’t say it’s not weird or even all that great but it’s what I’ve chosen.”

“You know,” Val said slowly as she came to a revelation. “I bet that’s your unfinished business.”

“Say what?” Phantom deadpanned. 

“Yeah,” Val said enthusiastically, “you don’t have closure on your own death and your family. You were never mourned, Phantom, and burying your body like a criminal in the woods certainly didn’t help matters. You need to confront your parents and then you’ll have nothing keeping you here! You don’t have to be stuck in Amity anymore, you can be free.”

“That’s wrong, that’s very, very wrong,” Phantom moaned into his hands. 

“It’s okay to be afraid of the unknown,” Valerie stated, filled with determination. “But you don’t belong in the living world anymore, it’s time you settled your business and moved on.” She could help Phantom and get rid of him at the same time, it was a win-win scenario. If only he could see it that way.

“Right, there’s no way to explain how absolutely wrong you are so uh, I’m actually going to leave now. Bye,” Phantom said before disappearing into thin air. Val frowned at his lack of cooperation but decided that wasn’t going to stop her. She was going to help the Ghost Boy get to his final reward, whether he wanted to or not.  
  


**xXx  
  
**

To: **Sam** and **Tuck**

**You:** guys I messed up   
**Sam:** Gonna need some elaboration here   
**You:** Valerie thinks the unfinished business keeping Phantom here is the fact that my parents don’t know I’m a ghost   
**You:** She’s not only trying to to expose me, she’s trying to help me move on and idk go to heaven or something   
**Tuck:** ASDFGHJKL   
**Tuck:** ADHWEFBVSOISOIHEFV   
**Tuck:** WERTYUJOWNCVWKNIHEROIVNDVBHJBDKLSKJ   
**Sam:** You okay there?   
**Tuck:** I THINK I’M HAVING A STROKE   
**Tuck:** HOW IS THIS YOUR LIFE DUDE?  
  


**xXx  
  
**

“Hey guys, wait up,” Val said, running up to them with an armful of flyers. “Good morning! Nice sweater by the way, Danny. It really brings out your eyes.”

“Mornin’ and uh thanks,” Danny muttered warily, turning a bit to hide the baby blue sweater that had started it all. “What’s with the flyers?”

“Something I’m putting together for this Friday,” she said proudly holding out a flyer for them to take. 

“ _Funeral for Phantom_ ,” Tucker said slowly as he worked harder than he ever had in his life to hold in his giggles. Neither Danny nor Valerie would appreciate him losing it right now. “What’s this about? I thought you hated ghosts, especially Phantom.”

“Yeah well ghosts used to be people too,” Val said as if it physically pained her to say so. As hilarious as the entire affair was, Tuck did have to give Valerie credit for trying to see past her own prejudices albeit in her own narrow minded, stubborn way. “I heard from a reliable source that Phantom was never laid to rest. I still don’t like him, or trust him but he deserves that at least. Maybe if he has a proper funeral, we can get him to stop haunting Amity.”

“I’m not sure it works like that but okay,” Sam said casually as she grabbed a flyer and eyed it critically. “I can provide flowers, if you need them.”

“Sam,” Danny said, something between a sigh and a warning.

“I have a bunch of lilies in my greenhouse, they represent the soul of the deceased achieving peace after death,” she continued as she tucked the flyer into her bag.

_“Sam.”_

“You’re gonna help?” Val said suspiciously “I thought you guys were pro-Phantom?” 

“Oh we are,” Tucker added. “I think he’s a real hero and all heroes, living or dead, should be remembered. Maybe your generous display will give him the strength to leave the never-ending battlefield for greener pastures.”

“Sleep with one eye open tonight, Foley,” Danny hissed into his ear.

“I wonder if Phantom will come,” Sam mused out loud.

“I mean, can he miss it? It seems pretty rude to bow out of your own funeral,” Tucker shrugged. Ghost culture was a little topsy turvy so it was hard to tell. Maybe he’d ask one of the ghosts in-between all the fights and threats to their lives. It was for Danny’s own good, they couldn’t have him committing a ghostly faux pas. 

“Are you sure he even wants one, much less from someone who was just trying to kill him last week?” Danny frowned and pointedly did not take the flyer Val was trying to hand him. It was funny and a bit sad that Danny had more patience with Valerie when she was actively trying to hunt him down.

“He’s our age, I think, and died alone without anyone acknowledging his death,” Val argued, clearly unhappy with Danny’s attitude. “It doesn’t matter that we’ve had our issues, the right thing to do.”

“The right thing to do,” Danny deadpanned, just soaking in the irony that Valerie couldn’t see. “Ok, well you guys have fun with that. I’ll be spending Friday afternoon sleeping.” He said before briskly walking into the school. Val stared after him in confusion, not understanding why the whole affair was upsetting him. And it was for that bullheaded inability to see nuance that Val hadn’t earned the right to be looped in just yet.

“Hey can I have another one of these? I think Jazz would like one, you know for posterity,” Tucker added, taking the extra flyer from Val’s hands.  
  


**xXx  
  
**

Danny had been through a few Worst Days of His Life, being framed as public enemy number one and finding out he became evil in a future, alternate reality but Friday at school was definitely up there. 

Everyone was so hyped up for Phantom’s funeral. They were all wearing clothes and pins with his face and logo on them. Paulina and her groupies spent all day writing and rewriting various tributes to their beloved ghost boy. Even Lancer, pleased by the initiative, spent English Lit reading and discussing some of the greatest poems on death and moving on. Despite the somber tone, everyone was excited. He couldn’t help but think that these poets and his classmates wouldn’t be so peppy if they’d experienced death first hand. 

His mom once joked he’d be late to his own funeral but he wasn’t even going to show up to this one. He knew Valerie and the others meant well, really he did, but Phantom wasn’t really dead. He wasn’t some tragic teen statistic but just an extension of Danny and pretending otherwise felt wrong. Peace wasn’t something you just hoist upon someone just because you wanted it. 

As soon as the bell rang, he sped out of there before Sam or Tuck or _Val_ could stop him. It was surprisingly thoughtful of Valerie to do all this for her rival but the whole display made Danny feel exposed and uncomfortable. Sometimes a boy doesn’t want to be reminded that he sort of, kind of died. As soon as he got home, he collapsed on his bed and vowed not to move for the rest of the day. He was long overdue for a mental health day.

“Ghost Child?” Danny opened one eye as his ghost sense went off to see Technus and Skulker hovering beside his bed. Technus had a black bowtie over his costume. “Are you not coming? I believe your funeral is today, a little late but better than never.”

“I have agreed to stay the hunt for one day in honor of your memory,” Skulker announced proudly. “Come now, it’s bad form to skip your own funeral.”

“I am taking a nap,” Danny said calmly belying the fact that he was two seconds from a complete mental breakdown. “I am going to sleep and everything will be normal when I wake up. If anyone disturbs me during that time, I am going to start _screaming._ ” Both ghosts winced and floated back a bit, probably recalling just how damaging his screams could be. 

“But ghost custom dictates-”

“Well I’m not just a ghost, I’m human and I’m taking a nap so go away,” Danny moaned, flopping forward so his face was buried in the pillow. Why did these kinds of things always happen to him?  
  


**xXx  
  
**

Phantom didn’t end up showing up to the funeral which didn’t surprise anyone who actually knew him. Sam wished him a nice nap during these trying times. A surprising amount of people, ghosts included, did end up coming considering how last minute everything was. A local church choir sang and a priest said a blessing. The photography club printed high quality photos of Phantom in battle while the Casper High Phan Club gave a sappy but well-intended eulogy. It was a pretty decent affair considering and everyone was appropriately respectful. All except for Valerie who looked annoyed.

“I can’t believe he didn’t come, after all this work,” Valerie growled.

“Maybe he didn’t hear about it?” Tucker volunteered, waving at Kitty and Johnny as they sped off.

“Or maybe Danny was right and you overstepped your bounds, presuming he wanted something like this,” Sam countered with a raised eyebrow. She adjusted the lilies she’d donated for the cause. She was the reason Danny became a ghost after all so she had to contribute something. 

“Yeah, well it’s more than I should be doing for any ghost,” Valerie sneered. “I was trying to be nice, give him what he needed to move on but if he’s not going to work with me then I need to step up my game.”

“Do I want to know what you mean by that?” Tucker grimaced.

“Sam, do you have any books on exorcism I can borrow?” Ok, first off, way to presume the goth had exorcism books. But second, she’d been way too annoyed at how passively Danny had been taking Valerie’s crap so this would be a good lesson on flirting with the enemy.

“Yeah sure, swing by my house after this is done and I’ll give you what I have. I’m sure I have some extra summoning candles around somewhere.”  
  


**xXx  
  
**

To: **Ghost Boy**

**You:** Hey, did you get some sleep?   
**Ghost Boy:** yeah actually, feel good enough to tackle Faluca’s worksheet   
**Ghost Boy:** dare I ask wow it was?   
**You:** Like how you’d imagine a funeral put on by a couple teenagers with an audience made mostly of ghosts would go.   
**You:** Boxy looked a little teary eyed at the end   
**Ghost Boy:** weird but okay   
**Ghost Boy:** think she’ll give up now?   
**You:** Nope   
**You:** Oh by the way, I gave her some books on exorcising ghosts   
**Ghost Boy:** WHAT WHY   
**You:** Because you need to learn to stop being so trusting of her   
**You:** Also it’s funny  
  


**xXx  
  
**

“Now if I was a stupid ghost boy, where would I bury my body?” Valerie asked herself as she sped over to the woods on the far edge of town, bordering Elmerton. There were several small collections of woods throughout the city but this one was the largest and the most remote. It would be the perfect place to hide a body no one else knew existed. 

For a moment, she could envision a recently deceased Phantom, out in the woods in the dead of night as he dug a hole to cover what had once been his living body. How would he have felt? Frantic? Afraid? Guilty? He said it was better that his parents didn’t know, that it would hurt them. She’d initially been angry at him for the subterfuge but now it was all too easy to see that he was no better than a kid hiding a broken vase to avoid punishment, though the vase in this instance was his own corpse. 

“Stupid ghost, making me feel bad for him,” she grumbled. Val passed by a section of disturbed earth and found herself back tracking to the spot. It wasn’t a recent dig but it clearly stood out as different from the rest of the ground. It was a bit short but probably about the right length for a teen boy if you folded the knees. On top of the dirt was a medium sized rock like a makeshift headstone. 

A chill went over her as she deactivated her board and dropped down next to the site. Is this where Phantom laid himself to rest? It was peaceful, quiet, he could have picked a worse place she supposed.

“Okay, better get to it I guess,” she said uneasily as she unpacked the things she had brought with her. After a moment of hesitation, she powered down her suit. She didn’t look like much in her jeans and a long sleeved shirt but it didn’t feel appropriate to do this as a hunter.

Valerie laid the candles around the grave and lit them solemnly, it was almost dusk and the cool air tossed the flames around like playthings. She carefully opened the book she’d borrowed from Manson and stared at the page she’d earmarked, the section on exorcising lost souls in the presence of their human remains. 

“Dear spirit, I command that you leave this realm and-” she began shakily.

“Val, what are you doing?” Valerie jumped half out of her skin at the weary voice from behind her. Phantom sighed and floated next to her before plopping down on the ground and looking at her set up. She had no idea what to do, she was vulnerable right now and who knows how Phantom would react to her being in front of his grave much less trying to exorcise him. 

“I uh,” she defended weakly before he hunched over and rubbed at his eyes in frustration.

“Do you really hate me that much?” He asked in a voice that sounded so hurt and lost. “I get that what you think you’re doing is right but what you’re doing is forcing me to move on but I’m just not ready. Being a ghost made me miss out on things, took some opportunities off the table but I still have so much I want to do. You heard how Plasmius was talking about my dad, if I’m not here to stop him then who will?”

“Don’t you want to stop?” Val asked softly, “doesn’t it hurt to see us alive while you…”

“Nah, never really been the jealous type,” Phantom said with a wan smile. “The living have an incredible ability to change and grow. Look at you, I saw how you were before and now you’re this kickbutt ghost hunter. It’s amazing really, humbling.”

“And your parents?” She questioned.

“I appreciate the concern but they’re _my_ family,” Phantom added with the slightest edge to his tone. “I will tell them eventually. I can’t and shouldn’t hide it forever but it’s something I need to do on my own time. I didn’t get a choice in becoming a ghost but I do get to choose how I tell them. Please don’t take that away from me.”

“I didn’t think of it like that,” Valerie muttered, looking down and playing with the edges of Sam’s book. “What were you like, you know, before?”

“No one important,” Phantom shrugged, “practically a piece of the furniture. I had no opinions, just let people tell me what to do so I could stay under the radar and not have to think or work too hard. I was just kind of there, not unhappy but also unfulfilled. I’m not saying this,” he gestured to himself, “was a good thing but it made me grow up in a way I don’t know if I would have ever achieved.”

“I can’t imagine knowing you like that,” she said, eyeing the candles. “Do you think we would’ve been friends, if we’d met each other back then?”

“Yeah,” his eyes glittered with a joke she didn’t get, “yeah I think so.”

“Hmm,” Valerie hummed before shutting the book and standing up. “Well if I’m not doing this then I should probably pack up and head home. It’s been a long couple of days.”

“For you and me both,” Phantom nodded.

“So um sorry for coming here and disturbing your grave,” she mumbled. “I promise I won’t tell anyone or come back or anything-”

“What?” Phantom blinked, “no, no, no, this isn’t _my_ grave. I’m small but not that small, yeesh, this is probably like someone’s dog or something.”

“Oh,” she blushed, feeling embarrassed. “Well then where are you buried?” She questioned before she could stop herself. 

“Eh my body is closer than you might think,” he said enigmatically. “I don’t exactly want you to go looking but I also know I can’t stop you. So if you do happen to piece it all together and find my body, then go to the place where I became a ghost. Trust me, it’ll all make sense.” With a final grin, he vanished.

“What the heck is that supposed to mean?” Val said with an eye roll as she hastily packed all her supplies back up. She chased the sunset out of the forest where, somewhere beneath the Earth, the boy Phantom had once been was sleeping. Once home, she threw the book in her backpack along with the candles to return to Sam but, after a moment, took one back out. Surely Sam wouldn’t miss one.

“Here’s to finding meaning after death, Danny Phantom,” Valerie said, lighting the candle and putting it by her window. That done, she opened her computer and started going back through Amity’s obituaries and missing persons for the last forty or so years. Unwanted or not, Valerie couldn’t leave Phantom unmourned, unnamed, so she’d find out who he’d been and help him find the strength to pass on in peace. It was just the right thing to do, from one person to another.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told myself I wouldn't but I ended up writing a follow on to handknit sweater because I couldn't get the idea out of my head. It started off kind of cracky and of course developed into some existential dread and complex, contradictory character interactions. Enjoy. Chapter title and poem from Crossing the Bar by Alfred Lord Tennyson.

**Author's Note:**

> Fic originally posted on tumblr but heavily edited for publication and with actual themes in mind instead of crazed keysmashes. My discord will tell you how I agonized over several Christina Rossetti poems for a title title before settling on when I am dead, my dearest.


End file.
